At some point, we've all asked ourselves the question "what do I do with my life?"

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For a few of us, that questioning ends when we're 18 and decide what to do after high school. But for most of us, that question will come back to us again... and again. It may haunt you when you're 24 and realize the desk job you thought was a dream is actually a dead end. You may find yourself Googling it at 2 AM when you're 37. Or you may shame yourself for still wondering it when you're 51, because you think you really ought to have it all figured out by now.  

But this question is really hard for many people to answer -- and struggling to answer it doesn't mean something is wrong with you! The idea that you're supposed to "figure it out" once and for all is based on a false premise.

 

Here are the assumptions hiding in the question:

• Career is a choice we make once

• There's one "right" or "perfect" career for everyone

• You never change

• The labour market never changes

As a result, the stakes often feel incredibly high. People put a ton of pressure on themselves to find that one "right" answer. Most people ask their families, friends, and co-workers for advice. Some people take career quizzes to get data-driven ideas. 

If you've done these things, you probably ended up with a lot of information, but not much clarity. Your family, friends, and co-workers know you -- and they mean well -- but most of them lack knowledge beyond their own experiences and skills to help you analyze the options you're exploring. Career quizzes are similar -- they can provide a lot of information, but in a vacuum. It tells you you should be a lawyer, but you can't afford (or don't want) to go back to school? Oh, too bad. It tells you to go into marketing, but you're already there and want to get out? Or costume design, but there's no stability in that? Good luck.

 

Here's the process that actually works, according to decades of career development research

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These 5 things work best in roughly this order, but some of them will overlap in practice: 
 

• Processing: Careers are tied to our identity, so changing careers can bring up a lot of big feelings about how we see ourselves and our place in the world. If you were laid off or if you've experienced a big life change in your personal life, your relationship with work as a whole may be shifting. If you're bored or unfulfilled by something you once dreamed of doing, that can also shake your sense of who you are and where you're headed. Unpacking and honouring these experiences helps you make decisions based on who you are now, creating a strong foundation for your next step.
   

• Reflecting: Not on job titles, but on aspects of your past work and other life experiences that you've enjoyed and excelled at, and on the other parts of work that are important to you (like your work environment or lifestyle). 
   

• Prototyping: When career decisions feel really high stakes, we avoid trying anything due to fear of failure. We may wait for a sign, or for certainty that will never quite arrive. But experiences actually help us learn a lot about what we want! That's why you once thought you wanted to do the thing you do now -- and, now that you're doing it, you're not so sure. Prototyping is the process of testing out an idea in low-risk, low-cost ways. It can look like taking an online course, doing a personal project, or volunteering. You don't have to jump from one thing to another; prototyping can help you build a bridge, and gain the insight and confidence you need to walk across.
   

• Analyzing: Between processing, reflecting, and prototyping, you'll have a lot to work with. Identifying patterns and themes will help you gain clarity and insight. Of course, careers happen in the real world, so you'll also want to analyze the current conditions of the labour market where you live to see which of your ideas can survive contact with reality.
   

• Attracting the Unexpected: Planning certainly has a place in career development, but no plan perfectly predicts the future. Nearly 70% of adults say that their careers have been significantly influenced by serendipitous events such as meeting professional or personal connections, or being in the right place at the right time. There are 5 things you can do to open yourself up to chance: be curious, be persistent, be flexible, be optimistic, and take risks.
   

If you'd like a structured way to begin this process, the Five Elements Analysis tool I created can help you process and reflect.  It helps you break down 5 key elements of your career to identify what you actually need using 15 questions to guide your reflections. This proven process first zooms out so you can see the whole picture, then zooms in to focus on what matters most to you. If you want to analyze your reflections together, you can always book a session.

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Despite what many people believe, career development really is a lifelong process. It's okay to be wondering what you want to do with your life, whether you're 16, 89, or anywhere in between. The goal isn't to figure it out once and for all, but to figure out your next step, and to develop the mindsets and tools you need to figure it out again if needed.​​